Double Trouble

Together they could have been
the most powerful team the world has seen
I could have loved them both with Fervor
Which sends my heart into a murmur
but alas fight they did
and one felt he had to rid
the world of the other
which sent me into a druther
Whom shall I love
I await a sign from above
One in power and one in jail
Surely they will both burn in hell
We could have had some fun
But one went on the run
And the other is a bad son
What could have been
makes my head spin
Dear Saddam you were a great tyrant
you made my heart burst like a fire hydrant
George I can foresee a dark future for our land
It makes a tremble in my hand
No more presidents for us
makes me heart lust
A menage a trois was my dream
but George crushed that it seems
Perhaps a new foe you need
A man in Russia just might be the seed
for my dream of two dictators to lead
Down that rocky path called love.

You had me at Immoral

Some might say he was insane
for that I might cause them pain
Maybe a little misunderstood perhaps
or having a couple of judgment lapse
I knew he was for me
when for the whole world to see
he tried to make his horse a consul in his Empire
It fueled my desire
He might disrespect the Senate and Roman traditions
but for him I would try different positions
excessive cruelty and immoral sex acts
make my heart react
Incest is bad
But what do I care when you make my heart glad
On your Pontoon Bridge we could stand
and survey all your land
Because Caligula, you had me at Immoral!

Let Me Count the Ways

How Do I love him? Let me count the ways:
I love him for his anger
I love him for the danger
I love him for the hate he has
for all the democracy lovers who pass.
I love him for his oppression
and his suppression
of his people and political opponents
I love him for freeing prisoners
then locking them back up
Oh General Than Shwe
If I ever see you in Burma
My love will be very firm
For I love you freely
I love you purely
I love you with passion
And I shall but love you even better after death.

Todor Zhivkov

Todor Zhivkov ruled for many years
He over came all the smears
A red geranium under his bed
The Bulgarian people he lead
Fear and Oppression were the rule
But he still makes me drool
I love him all the more
Even if he was covered in sores
He had his own daughter killed
But my heart can not be stilled
I will love him forever
As the water flows in the Danube River

Pol Pot

Despite your evil ways
I really have to say
that my heart belongs to you
despite the awful stew
you have made of your regime
you still cause me to steam
Oh why can't you see
that you are the one for me
our love could overcome
all the lies you have spun
Say you will be mine
and all will be fine
Please, Please, Please Pol Pot
I love you a lot
and our love would hit the spot
come away with me
and happy you will be.

I Heart You

In Turkmenistan there is a man
free speech he might ban
but I have fallen hard
and want to send a card
filled with my love
that must have come from above
In the "Rukhnama" his book
my love took root
with statues to yourself all over the place
I think you won the cult of personality race
how much I love you could never compare
to how much I want to live in your lair
Please Saparmurat Niyazov
Buy me a shot of smirnoff!

Dear Mr. Kim Jung Il

In Korea I wish to be
for there I might see
a man so fine
that I want him to be mine
In a tan uniform
he takes the world by storm
Black rimmed glasses
Does he make passes
at all those western gilrs
who must flock to him like squirrels
my hear beats fast
whenever he goes past
I fear it might be the last
Nuclear Weapons you want
But I think that is just a stunt
a good woman you need
your heart I can read
Oh please Kim Jung Il let me be the one
to make your life more fun
I could love you for eternity
with all certainty

My Fidel

Dressed in his army greens
he always seems
to be on the look out
for a girl with a pout
could I be that girl
I could put my hair in a curl
and wear a pretty dress
or maybe something less
I could love him like no other
with kisses I would smother
Oh, Mr. Castro heart of me
could you ever be
MINE!

Mao Haiku

Chairman Mao is fine
He has a serene smile
Little Red Book, WOW!